Author Topic: What happens Now?  (Read 3361 times)

Cheekie

  • Miss Cheekie!
  • Global Moderator
  • Advanced Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 469
  • Gender: Female
  • ~*~Happy 2018~*~
    • ~* My World *~
What happens Now?
« on: September 02, 2008, 02:47:57 PM »
What happens when you and your top have misunderstandings?

Are you able to work it out, make changes and gain a new understanding, or are you stuck in hell wondering "why did I open my mouth"? lets just say I have the somewhat best of both worlds.

When me and my male top, have misunderstandings because we are in two different parts of the country, we have different backgrounds and points of views, so sometimes what I think is perfectly normal, he may think I deserve to be spanked or punished, but before he does anything we talk about it in "friend mode" and come to an understanding of why I should/Shouldn't say or do something or why he should/shouldn't punish me for it, and at the end of the day we are both truly happy and we can move on with our day without cares :)
He's very caring and open minded, has my best interest at heart and wants to see me make something of myself which gives me the hope I need.

Also when me and my female top have disagreements although we are  in the same country, we have different backgrounds and points of views, and she isn't as open minded as one would hope, I try to see her way of things but it just doesn't work as well as I've hoped and when I try to tell her just how I feel she takes it as a threat of me wanting to leave so we go through a cycle of  "fussing, screaming, crying, and false promises" you would think we would be stronger cause of this, yet we just build a " blind wall" around it because no one really gains anything new, so when the pattern happens again, it gets worse, especially on my end because I'm the bottom.

Having rules and structure is very important to me, because rules help you learn where your boundaries are(even if you cross over the little ones :littleangel: ) having structure lets me know I'm cared for.
My male top gave me plenty of rules, I abide by them, whether around him or not, but sad to say his rules are all I have, that are written down, my female top seems to think she can say rules as the behavior happens and I'm supposed to remember all of them, I have asked her to E-mail them to me, but no such luck of that yet. :( so yeah, I'm not feeling to cared for there.

I know some of you are probably saying/thinking " if you have your male toppie rules, why do you need your female toppie rules?"
Because, my male and female top are two different people, one knows me extremely well, the other
not so much, so what "triggers one to spank" may not trigger the other, plus I think it's important to have.

Most of you have even said " Get rid of her!", " She doesn't have your best interest at heart"
well I'm sorry but to just drop someone is not in my book, although things are not the best between us, we have okay times an I would never want anyone to drop me like a hot potato, so I try not to ditch her.

Open and Vulnerable
most of you are like that a lot of the time which may bring you to a new comfort
I'm like that with my male top because, I see that if I push, he'll push back,
if I need a extra snuggle by all means, because he wants me to have it, he wants me to be able to
be open no matter how I act, because I know if I overstep he's going to pull me back.

What happens when your top shows their emotions?
Well my female top shows her emotions like none other!
she cries, she gets "open and vulnerable", then has the nerve to bitch at me
because she thinks "I hate her to cry" ... I just don't like seeing her cry, no one wants to hear or see their top cry mainly because
it saddens the bottom to see their top upset/hurt or whatever the case.
She also accuses me of "using her crying against her" just because I'll say something(after she done crying) like
" Maybe we should do this another day" and she breaks out waterworks again, and it's just like wow, you are seriously crazy.

I've heard my male top cry, I know when he is upset, if I'm around I try and comfort him.
he is strong enough to say "hey I have feelings too" but we "bottoms" know tops aren't always at their best :laughter:

When upset (crying and sad) should tops still maintain their duties?
Even when my male top is unhappy he still puts me in line by leaving a offline on my messenger or Myspace e-mail
or even those surprise calls on the phone lol.

my female top, not so much haha she'd let me get away with everything, because by having the frame of mind that she does, she can't do it.

I know most of you are thinking, " when your top is like that why brat them"?
1. I don't
2. usually they want someone around.
3. they have put up on a "weak poker face" and said, "they can do it"
4. I would never bother a top when their having issues that cause them to be upset.


Tops gone wild!
What happens when your top, can't figure out what to do with you, so they just
A. Quit, B. bring out extreme(not to mention Un-Realistic) implements, C. threaten to
beat you until you can't walk, D. SLAP you out of their frustration?
I clam up, get uneasy and walk out.

Tops say the darndest things! :laughter:
1. " I can't be the type of top you want, and I'm quitting"
but 5 seconds ago they said " I will never leave you" :haha:

2. " Do as you're told NOW!......hold on baby.... ..... cuddles" tops are forgetful :haha:

Switching a punishment in between a punishment.
*picks up hairbrush* SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK*
Now, I don't know about you, but I will be on my way of saying "please!, no, stop"
but I also sometimes(more than others) say "Ow! stop hitting my ass ooww!"
you would think the top would WAIT until he/she was done spanking you, before they washed your
mouth out with soap.
what I'm saying is, let me finish getting the spanking for talking back, then wash my mouth out for the use of the
word "ass" better yet add more swats to that spanking :unsure: ;)

I guess part three will be on the way tops and bottoms speak. :)

Oh, and Paddio :)
you said something about a "switch not wanting to be a top All the time"
well the switch I'm referring to said she could "handle being the top all the time"
although sometimes, my right hand offers service :D :hug:
~Cheekie now, Cheekie then, Cheekie to the very end.~

~*Not me in the avatar pic*~

Paddy

  • Tech Spanko
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 2843
  • Gender: Female
  • Confusing I am, yes
    • Spankz Unlimited
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2008, 08:00:19 PM »
Wow  8O You have really thought and analyzed things through, and make a lot of sense. Also I think it's good you shared your experiences, because those issues are pretty common and people are always thinking about them.
But darn you, for putting it all in one post, making it impossible for me to analyze your post and respond in detail. :faint:

Great posting, though :bow:
May the tawse be with you.

Dusty

  • Old Feathery Muffin
  • Global Moderator
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 3410
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2008, 06:19:57 AM »
Cheekie , you have covered several issues that seem to be common to the Top/Bottom relationship and have to be dealt with on an individual basis... considering what is best for the two individuals involved.  Each must be comfortable with the relationship and feel that it is being productive.

 :thinking: Hope this helps
 

Dusty

  • Old Feathery Muffin
  • Global Moderator
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 3410
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2008, 03:58:22 AM »
 8O  reviewed this topic and noted that I overlooked commenting on mouth-soaping .... which I emphatically disagree with...  :unsure: :unsure: I am not aware of ANY soap which the FDA has approved for human consumption  :roll: :roll: :whistle:

Cheekie

  • Miss Cheekie!
  • Global Moderator
  • Advanced Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 469
  • Gender: Female
  • ~*~Happy 2018~*~
    • ~* My World *~
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2008, 08:46:49 AM »
you did mention the "soap" when I first posted this in the story section :D
~Cheekie now, Cheekie then, Cheekie to the very end.~

~*Not me in the avatar pic*~

Dusty

  • Old Feathery Muffin
  • Global Moderator
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 3410
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2008, 04:58:10 PM »
 :thinking:  :unsure: :unsure: Just checked... nope, NO soap approved for human consumption .... and that includes feeding it to brats:roll: :roll: :whistle:

Paddy

  • Tech Spanko
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 2843
  • Gender: Female
  • Confusing I am, yes
    • Spankz Unlimited
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2008, 07:09:17 AM »
But it says nothing about feeding it to tops, right? :thinking:
May the tawse be with you.

Dusty

  • Old Feathery Muffin
  • Global Moderator
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 3410
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2008, 08:45:27 PM »
 :unsure: :?  Aren't Tops human too?? :thinking:

Paddy

  • Tech Spanko
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 2843
  • Gender: Female
  • Confusing I am, yes
    • Spankz Unlimited
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2008, 09:32:32 PM »
I heard that's debatable... :thinking:
May the tawse be with you.

Dusty

  • Old Feathery Muffin
  • Global Moderator
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 3410
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2008, 03:07:14 AM »
 :thinking: hmmmm..... but some people might raise the same question re brats  :unsure: :unsure:
 
 :D :idea: Let's just agree that both brats and Tops are humans and NOT guinea pigs for the testing of edibility of soap products :roll: :roll: :whistle:


eNoggi

  • Deviously Devious Deviant
  • Full Spanko
  • ***
  • Posts: 78
  • Gender: Female
  • I iz Tiger, hear me RAWR~!
    • eNoggi on deviantART
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #10 on: November 20, 2008, 11:26:01 AM »
I think it really depends on the soap if you don't mind me saying. some one
them are considered edible while others, if overly consumed, are toxic, like
dish detergent and liquid hand soap. however, bars of soap are fine. I got my
mouth washed with one and it wasn't THAT bad... forgot why though.

:D :whistle:
Do  I amuse you? 8)

Dusty

  • Old Feathery Muffin
  • Global Moderator
  • Super Spanko
  • *****
  • Posts: 3410
Re: What happens Now?
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2008, 02:59:25 AM »
 8O   Geesh  ... was really just trying to help the brats out.   If you really like chewing on a soap bar I sure won't deny you that pleasure   :laughter:  :laughter:

Fact still remains that to the best of my knowledge, the FDA has NOT approved any brands for human consumption :roll: :roll: :whistle: